I love my husband, David, very much. I love spending time with him and I love date night! We have now been married over 5 years and together we have 3 beautiful kids who like to take up most of our (my) time. So, I think it is very important that we have time for just the two of us. I am all for the romance and love when David plans something special for us, but he is a busy man. So now that we're basically old pros at this whole being married thing I have taken over a lot of the responsibilities of date night.
Let me back up a bit first. When we were newlyweds it was just the two of us. For the first few months, ok maybe a year, we didn't really want to go anywhere or even hang out with friends much because we just wanted to be with each other. A couple years later kids came along and our time alone has slowly decreased, and group/double dates have gone down even more so, and that's ok. A few years ago when David was called to be in an Elders Quorum presidency we were both interviewed by the 1st Counselor in the Stake Presidency. (If all these words are sounding foreign to you you can look them up here) He gave us some advice that I'll never forget. He told my husband that it was his responsibility to take me on a date AT LEAST once a week. And when the kid(s) is/are there it doesn't count. He even said I could call him if my husband started slacking in that department. Haha!
Fast forward again. We still have date night every week. Sometimes the kids do come out to eat with us, but we make sure to spend time just the two of us as well. Not all of our dates are "out". We have a lot of at home dates after the kiddos go to bed. We feel like the most important thing is to have time together and we usually try to make it time where we can talk. (We haven't been to a movie theater together since I was pregnant with my 1st) Since time alone is so limited we try to make it meaningful- we usually watch a movie or TV together every night, so date night should be something more for us. If that is the only night you two get to see a movie then by all means, go for it!
Back to the part where I have taken over. If you read my post about family home evening you know that I kind of do that. Take over, that is. David knows that we need to have date night and he also likes to have date night. It is just hard for him to come up with creative ideas while he is working. We do usually talk about what the plan for date night is (yes I'm a huge planner too) or who will be planning it. Sometimes though I just tell him that I have it all planned and it's a surprise! Those are usually the ones we both look forward to most.
In our 5+ years together we have had ups and downs about making date night a priority. And let me tell you, those times when it is on the down we both feel it. I get all upset and super girly and feeling neglected which makes me snap at the kids and then feel like a bad mom. It's a vicious chain. As for David, he just doesn't seem to be as full of love as he usually is and he's way more distracted when he is home. We also tend to do our own thing a lot more and don't feel as connected as we should. We usually have a shorter fuse with each other at those times too. So moral of the story is, Kelcie and David need to date each other!
Some of our favorite dates have been:
Chocolate tasting: I bought a few gourmet style chocolate bars (Walmart actually has a nice selection) and a bottle of our favorite sparkling cider. (Apple-grape or something like that.) We took turns tasting and talking about what we like and dislike about each one and chose our favorites. We were also able just to spend some quiet time together and enjoy each other's company. Plus it's chocolate. Duh. There are so many flavors and brands out there that we will definitely do this one again.
Dollar Store Date: This one is always fun because it forces you to really think about your spouse and buy them a gift(s). Go to the dollar store and set a dollar limit or number of items (or just get each other one thing), set a time limit, and shop separately. After the time is up meet back together and present each other with the gifts (and explanations if necessary). Sometimes the gift itself can lead to another date night or extension of the one you're already on! We do this one a couple times a year.
Backyard Camping/Stargazing: We love to camp, but sometimes it's nice just to get outside alone after the kids go to bed. We like to set up a tent and/or air mattress and play games or watch stars together. Once again the quiet is nice! Games are also another go-to quick date night idea because we are both super competitive and they are just fun!
Go for a drive: This is how we find out where things are. We usually get a soda and treat for the ride first. We sometimes go up the canyon , just around town, or to see something specific. We rarely turn on the radio when we are in the car together because we always seem to find something to talk (or argue- did I mention we're competitive?) about. It's nice not to be searching for dropped sippy cups or saying "hey, you guys be nice!" every two seconds.
Trade back or foot massages: I am a big fan of this one. I don't know who wouldn't be. Maybe really ticklish people... Anyway, this also gives you time to connect and talk. Communication is very important, right? Plus it's nice to relax. Set a time limit so no one feels cheated out of a good massage haha!
Creativity counts, but spending time together is the most important. I'd love to hear your favorite date ideas too so please share!
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